This week was the first week in a long while where I am resting and feel utterly accomplished in my professional endeavors. Since I've mentioned in my prior posts about balance and figuring out how to juggle my various professional commitments and pursuits I finally feel like I'm getting somewhere. That somewhere is little victories, but one's I'm happy for because it's rare that I feel like I'm exceling at everything. At least this week I was, and that's enough motivation to keep me going and that's what I need.
I had this interesting shift at the beginning of the week where I decided to take a different approach to goals and engage them bit by bit as I transitioned into the week versus trying to accomplish everything all at once. I put pressure on myself sometimes to try and get things done between Monday-Thursday because Friday-Sunday I'm mentally drained and am just trying to make it through my second job with a smile and the best attitude possible. I got up early this weekend and started by day at 8 where I cooked breakfast and made each hour count before I went to work at Eataly. I had coffee with my rommate, went to a boxing gym (will share that experience on Tuesday's Fit Post), applied for jobs/internships, and completed both writing assignments I had for the week...I worked in bits which left me feeling more accomplished and gave room for me to have a little fun.
Fun is something of a luxury for me that like a good cheat meal I get once a week, twice if I'm lucky. This week I got to have tacos/tequila with my girl Negesti on top of watching Logan (which wrecked me.) I was doubly wrecked by the series finale of The Vampire Diaries, which I'll talk about later because right now it's just too fresh. I made myself be social and went to a co-workers Birthday party Saturday night where I played pool (poorly-sorry Dad), had laughs and drinks. I grocery shopped, talked to my best friend, and felt like myself in a while. I felt relaxed and happy. I didn't feel like the whole world was crushing me for once.
I know post-grad anxiety is a thing, and I know it's definetly been my thing since 2017 and having the added pressure of people going "So what's next?" when I'm still figuring that out drives me crazy, but I'm trusting that the Lord is building that path and I don't have to be scared because I'm working- and working hard for the career that I want and it will reveal itself in due time. I'm confident my opportunities are coming and I don't have to make myself miserable or punish myself in my limbo. I need to live in my limbo and not let it defeat or consume me.